I originally went [to the Meditative Painting workshop] because I am working on a novel and I wanted to clear writer’s block. In class however, I mentioned that I also wanted to have a baby but I was scared. I had just turned 40 and I felt like I was running out of time. I also was conflicted about causing such a life changing event. Part of me wanted a baby and part of me wanted to continue my life as is. Svetlana shared that she had also gone to a writing retreat and realized that she wanted to have a baby and went on to do so. I pushed those thoughts out of my mind, meditated and created my painting.

The painting is very basic with earth, water and the sun and some sad looking flowers that I was very unhappy about. The only mystery in the painting is a green dot in between the water and the sun. When Svetlana mentioned that I had all the elements to create a baby after all it was a nature scene. She asked me what the green spot was. I had no idea. I just knew that when I painted it, I felt like it belonged. After the session, I was very emotional and cried a lot. I felt like I messed up my painting with the flowers and that the image I had in my mind did not translate to canvas. I was embarrassed because there was really no reason for me to be so affected by a painting. Thankfully my friends supported me and told me that I obviously had a lot clear.

I placed my painting in the living room and would occasionally look at it. Fast forward to June and I discover that I’m pregnant! Mind you, we were doing the trying, but not really trying method so I was really surprised. I thought it would take about a year. Anyway, during one of my visits the doctor was listening to the heartbeat of the baby and it was off to the side of my belly. When I came home to rest, my eyes locked onto my painting. The green spot was in the exact location of my baby’s heartbeat! I realized that the spot represented a new life. Mystery solved. I thank this process for helping me manifest my heart’s desire, a little boy coming this February!

- Laina Jones Joseph